Today was one of those days when one questions one's right, and possibly one's choice, to be a mother.

I suppose the day started at 1:30 am when Ronan awoke screaming:
He is briefly mollified with a pacifier and blanket, but the screaming returns about 10 minutes later (you know, just long enough to begin to drift back to sleep thinking you've dodged a bullet).

When further attempts to calm him IN the crib become futile, Ben gets him out and begins walking around the house with him. It is clear that something hurts because he cries no matter what we do. Eventually Ben gets him some ibuprofen and I take him to bed with us. Where he cries, and fusses, and rolls, and laughs, and crawls, and stands on my chest...you get the picture. Finally, fed up with that I take him out to the living room and attempt to calm him. I get out a bottle of milk (something he has recently been indulging in before bed since the nursing has stopped...what crazy person introduces the bottle at 15 months, you say? why me, of course!), and he drinks the entire thing.

Great. He was just hungry. Now he'll sleep, right? NOPE! More screaming. Oh, have I mentioned that by this time Mason is in bed with Ben because he has been woken up by the screaming several times and managed to go back to sleep a few of the times but is finally fed up.
Screaming continues. Ben, taking one for the team, passes Mason to me and gets up and gets dressed. He takes Ronan into the playroom and stays there with him until 5 am. Awake. Yes. 5 am. How nice that I got to stay in bed, right? Uh, yeah.

Well, by this time Mason is wide awake since Ben and I have been arguing over his head about what to do with Ronan. He takes up Ronan's fuss, roll, and crawl routine and keeps it up for about and hour or so. Finally, he falls asleep...within about a half hour Ben comes back to bed...then we all sleep for an hour...then Kyan wakes up. Of course, right?

6 am we have most of the family in the bed and I am trying to keep Kyan quiet and still enough to keep from waking Mason. No such luck. Up we go.

After rising I have to do my morning weigh in for my diet game that I'm playing. Wouldn't you know it, I didn't make weight for the week. OF COURSE I DIDN'T! That would mean something GOOD was happening. So, the final conclusion of my night of HELL is that I will not be drinking wine for two solid weeks (if we don't make weight we can't drink for the remainder of the game). Fabulous.

The rest of the morning basically consists of Ronan and Mason taking it in turns to shriek and sob while clinging to some part of my body. Only with Ronan the shrieking never stops. No matter what I do.
So, I put them down for nap a tad bit early and Mason goes right to sleep while Ronan (you guessed it) shrieks. When he finally goes to sleep (maybe 10 minutes of shrieking) he sleeps for approximately 30 minutes. SERIOUSLY?? Then wakes up...shrieking! I pick him up, I cuddle him, I offer him food and drink, I sit, I stand, I dance, I sing....nothing works. The shrieking continues.

Finally, it seems wise to call the doctor. I think maybe he has an ear infection as many of his crazy night fits have been associated with that in the past. The only appointment available is at 2:40; the twins' second nap is at 2 pm. Of course.

So, I decide they should be quite tired and try to put them down at 12:30 so they can nap before the appointment. A new level of shrieking commences. So, I give that one up and throw them all in the car. I have no idea where I'm going, but I know I cannot stay in the house listening to the shrieking for one minute longer!

As we begin to drive I realize that both Kyan and I need to eat. So, I get the bright idea to go to New Seasons. Kyan loves to eat there. Things seem to be going fine until I actually begin to consume my food...at which point (can you guess?) SHRIEKING!

Now, the thing about the twins is that they are really good babies...really. If they get fussy I just have to change the scenery and they are pretty much content. SO not the case today. So, I try juggling various distractions in the form of food, silverware, napkins, etc. while simultaneously shoving my food into my mouth and trying to get Kyan to sit still and eat.

As I get up to throw things away and clean up our mess the twins are pretty fussy and a bit loud, but it's not like we're in a 5 star restaurant or anything, it's not a quiet place. Still, I get these looks from people that clearly say, "we are judging you for the behavior of your bratty boys." I also get a sense of, "what's wrong with you? Do you know what birth control is?" in several of the glances.

By the time I leave I am almost ready to cry, but I don't. I get them in the car and strapped in and begin the drive to the doctor's office. In an attempt to keep the twins awake (ironic, isn't it?) I start to act silly and laugh with them and I realize that I really do like them better when they are all strapped into their car seats looking at me adoringly.

When we get to the doctor's office I open the van door and realize that Kyan is beginning to drift off. COME ON, KID!! He hasn't napped since last week and I wasn't even working on keeping him awake! So, I put him in one side of the double stroller with the seat down and he is instantly asleep. OK. I strap Mason on my back, since the appointment is for Ronan, so in theory Mason can stay there through the entire event, put Ronan in the other side of the stroller, and off we go.

We get in there and Ronan is the happiest child I have ever seen. They are looking at me like I have a screw loose when I explain why we've come. They check him out and, sure enough, nothing wrong. Maybe a tooth coming in, maybe, but I think that was just an attempt to make me feel better. BUT, "while you're here, why don't you get those next two vaccinations taken care of (since you are so far behind because of your 'alternate schedule' and we are afraid you're going to destroy the human race with your rebellion)." Uh, ok.

It is DEFINITELY a great idea to add two sore spots, a possible fever, and an increased chance of fussiness to our already boiling over pot. WHY THE HELL NOT! Let's do it.

Of course, Kyan wakes up right before the torture session. He is not particularly happy to wake up in a stroller in the doctor's office. The twins are naked now and running, climbing, grabbing, and pushing everything in sight. It takes the nurse a good 10-12 minutes to return with the shots (OF COURSE IT DOES!).

We get the shots done, children are screaming, I only half dress them, strap them into the stroller and onto my back and set off into the waiting room full of people who also would like to inform me that, "I've got my hands full." Thank you. Very astute observation. Do you want one?

We get in the car and I'm SURE the twins will fall right to sleep, I mean they have to, right? NOPE. Ronan shrieks like a banshee for a good 5 solid minutes which sets Kyan off because he's out of sorts and, I have to admit, it does REALLY hurt one's ears to listen to, and Kyan is right next to him.

I have to pee really badly at this point (because I am consuming 3 liters of water a day for this silly diet game I'm doing), but I sure as hell wasn't going to attempt to go into a bathroom with the entire screaming crew. So, my new dilemma is whether or not to drive until they are asleep or to get home as fast as possible so that I can pee and give poor Kyan a reprieve from Ronan's shrieks. As I see Ronan's eyelids begin to flutter between shrieks I decide to keep going. Finally, he falls asleep. Mason does not, but I'm counting on him to lay down in the crib without any issues once we get home. BIG mistake there!

We get home and I take Ronan to his crib where he commences loud, stuffy snoring (oh, NOW I notice that he's stuffed up), but when I try to put Mason in he screams and throws himself all over the crib. Kyan is in the hallway trying to get me to put the TV on for him because I have mistakenly agreed to let him watch so that I can possibly have a few minutes of downtime once I get the twins to sleep. It takes me a good 10 minutes of cooing and rocking to calm Mason and he goes to sleep. I put TV on for Kyan, go into the kitchen and begin preparations for dinner. That lasts all of 3 minutes before I hear Ronan. Really? REALLY?

So, I bring a shrieking Ronan out of his room and he, again, continues to shriek. I get him some ibuprofen for whatever pain is turning him into this monster and I try to finish preparing the roasts that I have to get in the oven to cook because they will take over an hour. He will not let me set him down, but I can't do it holding him, so I set him on the counter and give him some cooking utensils to play with. He continues to shriek while I prepare. I realize I have reached an all time low. I am just about ready to put him in the oven.

Finally, the roast is in and I take him into the playroom with Kyan. He continues to shriek so I give him my phone and the remote control (minus batteries) and this distracts him enough to stop the shrieking. Finally, a bit of quiet. Then Mason wakes up. He won't stop crying. I realize he is stuffy. Oh dear lord.

When Ben gets home I am sitting at the table shoveling food into my mouth while both babies are trying to climb up onto me while shrieking and sobbing. I attempted to feed them and they threw the food AT ME. Here are Ben's pictures of my attempt to sit on the couch and relax for a minute after I ate:

The look on my face is complete disbelief that the shrieking banshee is smiling SO sweetly for the camera!

Finally, I take my leave and go for a 20 minute bike ride in order to decompress. It helps. I come back able to help put the twins to bed without screaming. And, now that I have cleansed myself of the day by laying it all out here, I am off to bed to prepare for what promises to be another great night!