Walking the Line

I have had several blog posts floating around in my head for the past few days, but have had a hard time finding the time to sit and write. As it is I am counting down the minutes until I have to go and pick Kyan up from school and wondering if there is shower time somewhere in there.

I have been thinking a lot about simplicity and our society's tendency to be anything but simple.
This past weekend we went to a wonderful little birthday party for a sweet little 2 year old and an adorable 4 year old. It reminded me a lot of the type of parties that I have thrown so far for Kyan. The Mama did a wonderful job, baking 75 cupcakes, decorating with two themes, preparing a bbq for many adults, and staying calm and serene during the entire party. The kids seemed to have a fabulous time. I know Kyan loved the party, but I have to say the rest of that day, before and after the party, was a bit of a nightmare.

The entire day was spent in anticipation of the party: we talked about it from the time Kyan woke up, we had a lazy morning getting everyone together, and we finally left the house for haircut and shopping. This is where things went downhill. Kyan's behavior at home that morning was marginal at best, but we chalked it up to excitement about the party.

Once we had the hair cut taken care of we headed to Fred Meyer for birthday present shopping. I had a naive sense that this would be a great lesson in giving: Kyan would graciously search for a present to give to one of his closest buddies, we would wrap it together, and he would present it to his buddy with a huge smile. Well...not quite.

First of all, I think that children should be banned from shopping with their parents. I love to shop and I am fairly certain that I perpetuate the consumerist nightmare that I want to protect my children from, but something has got to give!

Stores are virtually booby trapped to induce 3 year old temper tantrums. SERIOUSLY! From the Halloween stuff that is gracing the shelves a good 2 months early to the candy in the check out lines, and don't even get me started on the toy section.
I will say that I suggested we go to Powell's bookstore to look for something less plasticy and commercialized, but Ben and Kyan outvoted me. Next time I may overthrow the democracy.

We did end up with two nice gifts that I picked out because Kyan was only interested in the most destructive of the transformers, the most hyped up of the superheros, and the loudest of the roaring dinosaurs, and he had totally forgotten that the gift wasn't for him. (I know, Dad, boys will be boys, but come on!)

On the way to checkout we had a fit over leaving all of the destructive plastic nightmares behind and I, in my infinite wisdom, distracted him by showing him the Halloween costumes. STRIKE ONE for Mama.

Once he saw the manifestation of his Halloween dreams right in front of him (he's been perusing Halloween costume catalogs with a ferocity that is alarming and a commitment that is somewhat admirable) there was no leaving that store without a Batman costume in tow.

I figured I had been planning on ordering him one anyway, so why not, right?
As a side note, I would be choosing another cuddly animal for Kyan this year if the choice was still mine (year one: ladybug, year two: river otter, year three: giraffe), but I am coming to terms with the fact that I cannot control all of Kyan's choices anymore. I figure he deserves to have his own experience and preferences, right?

The problem is, I thought that I could give him a foundation that would lead him to better choices, but I've realized that I am up against the entire conglomerate of media fixated three year olds and their seizure inducing, cartoon pushing adult counterparts.
I think I might be rambling, but like I said this has been rolling around in my head for days.
So, what's a Mama to do?
I want to walk the line.

Sure there is a part of me who wants desperately to be the militant natural earth mother who does not even allow my child to play with dolls that have faces (insert my respect for Waldorf education here, despite my perplexity at the oddness of dolls without faces), and, to be honest, I think that I half planned/expected myself to be that mother. However, what I have come to realize in my short time as a Mama is that my son has a right to experience and enjoy the world he lives in. The unfortunate part of that is that I don't really like a lot of that world, but I live in it, too.

The media is everywhere; I cannot avoid that, and I am roped in by it, as well.
I want my son to be "above" the consumer mentality, yet I was so excited by Old Navy's new owl print baby line that I could barely contain myself.
I've realized that I don't live my life entirely on one side of the line or the other, so why should I expect my children to do so?
So, to make a long story short, I bought the Batman costume.

Immediately upon leaving the store the temper tantrum ensued. He needed to put the costume on RIGHT NOW! Hold it just a minute buster, this $23 piece of felt is supposed to be your costume for Halloween, which is a good 6 weeks away, and I am quite sure that it will barely survive the trick or treating activity, let alone 6 weeks of superhero play!

Commence temper tantrum, add heat and sun, note that it is already 45 minutes past nap time...You get the picture.

So, despite atrocious behavior during the entire ride home, we give in and put the costume on him before his nap. Why? you might ask. God only knows. I just think the screaming was getting to us and addling our minds.

After squeezing him into the size 2-4 costume (should be age based, right?), packing him off to bed, and breathing a sigh of relief (before beginning the twins' diaper changing and mass feeding sessions), we take a look at the packaging from the costume and discover that it is meant for a 1-2 year old. Okay, then.
So, I just spent $23 on the cheapest piece of felt with stuck on velcro circles I have ever seen, and now I have to pry it off of my child's sweaty body and attempt to explain why we are taking it back to the store. I see more tantrums in our future.

Suffice to say, the costume is sitting on the counter waiting to be returned, Kyan has continued his relentless pursuit of the perfect superhero costume by paging through his "superhero books" (costume catalogs), and I am already dreading attempting to "walk the line" through the growth of three boys in a media saturated, gender pushing, consumer driven society. I suppose I'll have to let you know how it turns out.